It’s More Than The Birds & The Bees.

Raising a young girl I feel a huge responsibility to educate her on what it means to be a woman, and most importantly to have confidence and good self-esteem about her body and her femininity. What I find to be the most confusing aspect of woman-hood to 90% of girls and women that I meet these days, is the misunderstanding of sex vs. love. Making things all the more convoluted is the rampant and massive porn and sex industry sending mixed messages to both genders about what it is to be a woman.

b0bdd3a947359be2f460d0bd602422c9

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not getting on any prudish soapbox here. I have no issue with porn or strip clubs, as long as the women involved are first and foremost women, not girls, and secondly that they are participating with their own free will.

My issue is that girls AND boys are being fed blatantly wrong images about love, sex, bodies, nudity, and how a woman wants to be treated and should be treated. The old cliché that men want a refined, soft-spoken woman in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom still exists for many a young man.

bratz-dolls

Merchandise like “Bratz” dolls (see picture above) and suggestive clothing is marketed to girls as young as 8 and establishes early-on the misdirection that sexiness can only be achieved by wearing revealing clothes, stripper high-heels, and posing with your lips pursed-poutly. Furthermore, men and the media spoon feeds our little girls the misnomer that sexiness (which is actually often sluttiness) is necessary for you to be attractive enough to get a man.

I am a first generation product of the women’s sexual revolution and I appreciate the strides we have made as women to be able to have birth control that we control, that we can have sex out of wedlock without shame, and even speak up about our sexual needs and likes. BUT, I had to learn the hard way the difference between sex and love, lust and caring, as did many of my peers. I feel now it is imperative that we compound the strides made by women of the 60’s and 70’s and start speaking much more frankly with our daughters and sons.

tumblr_kswkdwHHfw1qzlnx8o1_500

We must explain to them the differences and nuances between love and sex. We must advise them when and how it’s okay to have sex vs. “making love.” We must teach our daughters to understand that their bodies have an affect and power over boys that neither gender can understand in the teen years, and that said power must be respected and not wielded blindly, stupidly, or just because boyfriend or peer pressure tells them that it’s okay become sexually active. We must also teach the boys that no really does mean no, even if you’re half way into the act, and that one should NEVER take advantage of a girl who is mentally impaired by drugs or alcohol.

large

Lastly, we have to explain to all young children and teens that women who chose to parade around with their breasts or bums revealed are not the examples we should strive for. There is a time and place for women to be dressed in lingerie (or not dressed at all), and walking around in public is not it. (Again I’m not trying to pick on strips clubs or their patrons.) Young adults need to understand that surgically enhanced breasts and stiletto heels can send the message “I’m ready to be your sex-toy” and if you choose to dress that way, then you have to expect that you’ll be treated as nothing but a sexual object. Most importantly we must emphasize that being desired sexually is okay under the right conditions, but that those conditions are very specific and when the lines are blurred so is the treatment of women and thus their self-esteem is eroded.

cac4593d720f3b88e5854a9fd159b9ff

I know today’s blog is intense and not necessarily fitness focused, but I am passionate about all areas of life being in balance and I have so many friends and clients that are grown women and men who are still confused about sex and love, so today this is what spewed out of my brain. Think about it. Share your thoughts with me – and then get your self to the gym for a little brain-clearing exercise!

femininity-2

Advertisements

2 comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s